Joy Twinkles

have you ever hurt someone?

i had..

though i was also hurt during the process,

i feel terribly upset that this had happened.

it takes two hands to clap,

but the resonance lasted so long..

too long..

Fridays are boring.. My brien malfunctions on Fridays because tomorrow is Saturday. hahaha. =P

Friday blues, I told my colleague.

“huh? It’s TGIF! Not Friday blues!”

It is Friday blues, lah. Not after office hours. Geez. =)

1 hour and twenty mins before I head to town to meet him.. =) Thanks for travelling all the way down from Tuas.. Hehe.

Okay, back to work.

=)

I have a penchant for children, especially those who ask a series of weird questions.

Oh, and I definitely take delight in organising activities for children! =) Geez. I helped peifen with her holiday prog at the sunday school. Wow, I would say that that was one of the most interesting activity i did after i came back from Taiwan! =) The preparation and the camp itself was so meaningful and so loaded with fun! =)

Some lovely pictures of the adorable kids.. =) It was so many years back when I addressed my sunday sch teachers as ‘teacher xx’. Now, I am working alongside these teachers.. and it is my turn to be called ‘teacher xx’. Haha. How time flies!

 Some photos of the activities.. Geez.. Taught them ‘Love of the Buddha’, complete with the funny actions. Haha. I always find it weird that we used to do that in sec school/uni. Geez, but with children performing this song and dance, they look so CUTE. And they definitely enjoy those adults-find-it-silly kind of actions. Hahahaha.

 Story time! And to engage our little ones, I got them to arrange the picture cards according to the exact order of the life story of the Buddha.. Geez. Cute, see how they engage in discussion and problem solving! Kawaii!

 When you’re still young and small, as many as 24 kiddos can fit into one lift.. Even with three teachers, who are not so thin…!

 Temple tour…! They were so amazed to see ladyfingers being planted on the field. ‘don’t ladyfingers come from NTUC?’ i think i heard one kid ask that. Hahahaha.

 Feeling the texture of a Bodhi leaf..

Naptime! Oh, and we also taught them some simple ways to send loving-kindness to oneself and others.

 The roudiest time of each day is TEABREAK. Oh dear, they really take pride in helping the teachers to distribute the snacks and drinks. “teacher, can i help you take the mango juice?” “teacher, i help you throw this away”. So lovely.. awwwww… Haha. And they REALLY love the cream crackers. I never knew kids could love to eat cream crackers. I always thought that those are the driest kind of snack that can ever exist.

 Some individual shots I took of the kids..

Two of my favourite shots…

The kids, learning how to do puja and offerings. Learning that a light offering represents the light of wisdom, flowers represent impermanence of life, incense represents the triple gem.

Gratitude time! On the final day, we got them to each write one (or more if they wish to) gratitude card(s) for the people they are thankful for(e.g. their mum, maid, etc).. Helping them to cultivate gratitude.. =) And they sure do it with sincerity.. One kid came up to me and ask ‘teacher cindy, what is your favourite colour?’. I was so touched when she presented me a card with the colour i told her.. This really touches my heart..

Farewell.. I’m gonna miss these wonderful children!

 Oh, and I decided to paste some of the gratitude cards on my cupboard. Haha. So I actually look so weird to these kids (chk out the green one). Haha. Awwwwww they’re just SO KAWAII~! -melt-

Rejoice!

Being the only university in Singapore that produces social work graduates (soon, there’ll be two when UniSim launches their first batch of sw graduates), it means that most social workers from other agencies will be your senior, junior or peer. And as you move on, you’ll find it unavoidable to work with them.

I had to call up one hospital’s medical social work department today to enquire about a client’s case and I realised that the case worker for my client is my classmate! Actually I suspected so when the receptionist told me the name of the worker but I had to hide my excitement. I quickly dialed her direct number but she wasn’t at her desk. Geez, when she returned my call, I was so thrilled to hear her voice. When both our identities were ‘revealed’, we giggled in excitement. The other classmate who is working in that MSW dept grabbed the phone and also said hello to me! Haha.

Well, given the smallness of the social work scene in Singapore, it is really inevitable to work with someone you know. A seasoned social worker might be shrugging this experience off as ‘one of those common sights at work’. But it is just so thrilling an experience for a two-and-a-half week old social worker like me. And this thrill of speaking to your classmates over the phone about work (and better still, working on the same client!) will remain until i pry my way out of the young-and-inexperienced-social-worker shell.

Woohoo, it’s half and hour to twelve! Time to turn in! =)

One of the tasks of a social worker is to be sure of the resources available in the community. With knowledge of where the right resources are, you can easily link clients up with various assistance they require. And of course, what we do is more that just ‘firefighting’…in the midst of resource linking, you hope that your client will be able to learn how to advocate for his/her needs in the process. Through the entire process of tiding through a crisis, you hope that the client learns skills to solve problems - self-reliance and empowerment.

Just today, my client came over to my FSC to seek help for case management - she is in pain but dare not turn up for her surgery because of financial and childcare woes. She took the initiative to settle whatever she could on her own - went to the MSW dept of the hospital on her own to apply for medifund, tried applying for her child to be placed in one of our childcare ctrs (which provides the service at a subsidised rate) for the next two months, went to CDC to get financial assistance because she cannot work, and to a certain FSC because she ‘heard’ that they provide free diapers + milk powder for financially tight mummys. The reason she came today was because the FSC she approached referred her back to us.

‘They are known to fight for women’s rights. They provide help for mothers who need help. I really need diapers for my baby.’ she said. ‘They referred me back to you, can you try to explain to them why I want to go there though I live in this area?’ (okay, FSCs are demarcated according to geographical boundaries. Every housing estate will have an FSC ‘assigned’ to it.)

The thing is, we don’t give out free diapers and stuffs. So I thought I could speak to the worker from that FSC to see how my client can get help (and to also find out if the free diapers thingy is true). This client, I think she is amazing, because she is willing to settle everything on her own despite feeling so much physical pain. She wants to do it all on her own so long as it is within her means, coming to the FSC only when she is desperate. For that, I feel that it is really worth it advocating for her needs.

Okay, and I called them up. I explained to the worker-in-charge of the dilemma my client is in and he said yes, they provide assistance to financially tight mummys. But because my client does not belong to the geographical boundary the FSC is in, she is not entitled to their rations. Okay, it may be a simple question which elicits a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. But I thought the worker was absolutely unprofessional and rude over the phone.

him: ‘no, your client cannot shop around and choose whichever FSC she wants to go to. Our rations are exclusively for our clients.’

me: ‘okay, thanks. hmm, I wonder if you have services that provide rations to clients which are not from your FSC?’

(okay, perhaps I wasnt very tactful in phrasing my question. I was asking that to further clarify and to know more about the services of this org. It was also with the assumption that they are aware of such services - for example, SYCC offers food rations to clients from other FSCs, we just gotta fill in a form and send it over to them.)

him: ‘your FSC don’t provide rations?’

me: ‘yes, we do. But we provide more general food items. We don’t have diapers and such. That’s why I am enquiring. You know the condition of xxx too.’

him: ‘oh, so if we provide her, we charge it to your account, is it?’

(silence)

those were the exact words he used.

I had the urge to reply ‘do i sound like i wanna buy diapers?’ By the time i finish processing my thoughts (which happened in a few seconds), I wanted to laugh at his question and at the reply i had in mind. Hahaha. His question was sarcastic. But i’m so glad too, that I didnt reply him on impulse! Afterall, my agenda was to call and know more of their services. And it’s monday, he could be experiencing monday blues! (an employee does not (entirely) maketh the organisation. we r human beings with emotions too. my positive impression of that org still holds. =))

Anyway, we had a brief conversation after that (not so awkward) silence. His tone changed as I calmly reiterated my purpose for calling. I’m sure he realised that he was rude and for me, it was another moment of awareness - to not assume that the listener would know what I am trying to say. Clarity, clarity, clarity.

Another day in the life of cindy the social worker.

Going to school tomorrow to do STEP-UP (School social work To Empower Pupils to Utilise their Potential). http://app.mcys.gov.sg/web/youth_stepup.asp Excited! =)

PS: details of the cases/names of orgs are not discussed in my blogs. Confidentiality issues!

First two weeks into my job, and I am loving it! =)

There were a lot of apprehension and uncertainty, excitement and enthusiasm! Some colleagues left, I am going to have a new supervisor, a new executive director is assuming office… What kind of expectations will the new ED have of me? Who will be my new supervisor? Will I get as many learning opportunities as I did during attachment? How different will it be working in the new office? What kind of cases will I be taking? Will I be on the Family Violence course as soon as I start work? Icannotwaittoexperiencethechallenges!! =D

Well, things started out SO WELL on the first day! The ED gave me an orientation around and about the FSC (my workplace), we discussed about our expectations, we briefly talked about my portfolio-to-be.. and most importantly, the ED has a very warm personality! The level of uncertainty about the job reduced tremendously because I know what is expected of me. What I liked most is that I was already given tasks to fulfill on my first day! Well, though those tasks were more of resource gathering and independent learning (about the FSC and my jobscope), I felt so thankful that I wasn’t given nothing to do because that would add on to the boredom of day 1. And I am grateful that I was given cases by day 2! I enjoy the busyness at work because I was so eager to start work, learn new skills and see theory coming to life! But as I was enjoying the busyness of my new job, I kept my fingers crossed about enjoying the ‘fun’ of being busy.. Who knows, I might complain about being busy as the workload picks up. Hehe. =P

Anyway, the cases I am handling now are the less tedious ones compared to my colleagues (I refrain from using the word ’simpler’ because no case is ’simple’) because I am expected to learn and pick up skills before I handle cases that they are already handling. Though I was secretly wishing for their kind of cases, I really think that the system my FSC adopts is fantastic. Rather than dunking us into the job immediately, assuming that we have the skills of an experienced social worker, OJTs and observation sessions adds a lot of accountability to our clients. That is perhaps one of the best thing I like about my centre - not compromising client’s interests though we lack manpower. =) On a side note, my centre really needs more social worker/prog coordinators so if you are interested, text me okay?

The general atmosphere in the office is quite positive and relaxed. Not slack though, cuz the other workers are kind of loaded with work. Haha. Relaxed because we get to enjoy quite a fair bit of personal space (and what’s more? The swkers’/counsellors’ office is quite far away from the main office! Hehe).

Up till now, my vibes about the job+working environment is still very positive. =) Hoping to maintain the positivity! =) May I be able to benefit the clients whose cases are assigned to me..

More updates in my next entry!

Not very keen to look at the PC after work/during weekends these days.. so my entries may stagger over a few days… or even weeks! =)

Side note: Two weeks into working life and I am already feeling like an old woman. So tired after one day of work, falling asleep while watching TV (tell me how this can happen, the last time it happen was when I was a kiddo) and feeling like an aunty when I stand beside a human in school uniform. Brr.

Cheers to the final post on the GTM series! =) My buddy, Yanling!

Name: Kwek Yan Ling

Nickname: 测验零蛋 (Yan Ling), Ling, 主人

The grad trip camaraderie wouldn’t share so much fun without my social work buddy Yan Ling! =) She is such a joy to have! Seriously, you wouldn’t need to go on a tour to agree with me that she is a 开心果! If ren loves us by helping us with chores (our mr porter/chef), Ling loves us by radiating positive energy! She is forever laughing and laughing and LAUGHING. Erm, maybe laughing is an understatement because Ling laughs ALOT. She makes all of us so happy all the time!

And how could I forget her patience with me when we were in Hualien? The day when I was so traumatised, Ling waited for me cuz of my ’slow start-up’ on our way back…she gave me verbal encouragement…and she helped me process my feelings one-to-one when she knew I was still suffering from minor PTSD. I was secretly thankful to her for being so nice to me…Geez.

And because of Ling, we managed to try many different kinds of mushrooms! Woohoo, it was mushroom-mania with Ling around! =) Mushrooms aside, she often treated us to various street foods in Taiwan…! =P

Buddhists often emphasise on practising ‘dana’, which is closest to the meaning: ‘generosity’. And I think this is a very apt description for her.. Cuz she gave us many gifts during the trip. The gift of joy (from her optimism); the gift of food (from her mushrooms!) and to me, she gave me the gift of strength (in Hualien). =)

Ending my Taiwan posts with the GTM series 3!

Taipei pictures? I won’t be uploading them because except Maokong’s fragrant tea, there is really nothing much to talk abt in terms of its scenery.. =)

Taiwan, (finally) OUT!

Name: Zheng Liren

Nickname: 美丽人生 (Li Ren), Ah ren

On the bus to Nantou, Liren and I randomly discussed about something and it turned out that we are somehow related by a common person and this special ‘relationship’ started even before Liren and I knew one another! Somehow, when we discussed that that day, I was so touched that I allowed my tears to flow.. Like what Liren said, ‘we felt human again’. I can only say, the world is so small… =)

I always believe that one or a few significant incidences will always be a turning point in a r/s. For Liren and I, I guess it was the unexpected discovery that made me feel closer to him. My respect for him as an avid humanitarian worker grew when the experience recounted was with someone close to my heart. Tough and stern on the outside, Liren has a gentle and loving heart.. No, not a heart of gold because gold is so hard and tough!

Anyway, though he looks stern, I always find that stern look hilarious. Liren exclaimed that Cindee laughs at every single one of his jokes. Even when it wasnt meant to be a joke, Cindee feels tickled by Liren. Yup, such is the power of someone with positive energy. I guess the positivity Liren radiates makes me feel so happy to have him during the trip! =)

I know Yan Ling is quite afraid of his ’shut-up-i-am-tired-i-am-exhausted-don’t-come-near-me’ look, but Cindee always know that that is just a phase. Because Liren is one person who does not let his unhappiness affect the group. Retreating into his own world by sleeping or walking alone for a while is his way of loving us.. =)

And Liren cooks!! On one sunny morning in Kao Hsiung, our dear ah ren woke up to make us soup, scrambled eggs and french toast! Aww…

Well, did I make him out to be a close-to-perfection guy?? (sorry, perfect guys do not exist)

Yes, he is! Definitely!

But… too bad, girls.. Dear ah ren is taken!

And off we went to Tai Chung after KS. It was an arduous journey lugging our stuffs past a notsonicesmelling wet market only to know that our dear receptionist at the tourist info centre gave us the wrong direction! =P Haha.

And we finally reached the bus stop which has a bus that will bring us to Nantou to view the legendary Sun Moon Lake!

 We packed lunch and ate at the bus stop. =P

 Sun Moon Lake

  Pillow fight in the hostel! =P

 Ending this post with a very beautiful picture of Yan Ling..

This is gonna be one of the most outdated posts ever. Been busy shuttling between PKS and NUH these days.. Haven’t had the chance to really go online till today. Anyway, presenting… Kao Hsiung!

=============================================================

 Kao Hsiung has got to be one of the most interesting places to visit.

It is the ‘pilgrimage city’. Not because people go there for prilgrimages.. but for the four of us, it was an exploration of our spiritual beliefs. I arranged for a tour around Fo Guang Shan while Alex brought us around Holy Rosary Cathedral. We exchanged views aboout our faiths and had a mini QnA session on our beliefs.

It is also the place we went in search of the best Taiwan munchies! (except lu rou fan)

 Our Lu Rou Fan (Braised meat rice) adventure begins! And awwww, it disappointed us big time. =(

 There is this particular stall in KS which serves very good Papaya milkshake and Cherry Tomato Juice. We go back like once or twice everyday.. Oh, but we prefer the drinking device to be called ’straws’ rather than ’suckers’. really.

 Instead of the usual Lioho NM, our host, Mel, recommended tt we visit Ruei Feng NM. It’s around ten min walk from our hostel and it has cheap and yummy food! Best fried mushrooms, best green tea and yummy veg from their street stall!

 The second day in KS was spent in FGS. Well, we planned to visit HRC and FGS on day two but the bus ride into the county took us two hours to and fro, so we kind of spent the entire day!  This is FGS’ main gate.. Arranged for a tour with Ven Miao Qi.. Thankful that she agreed to conduct an English tour. NOt that my English is GOOD but my Chinese vocab is so limited, I’m afraid I might not understand most terms she use. =)

 This is the garden we went to. I think Ven spent like half an hour in the garden teaching us about Zen philosophy.. The yogis spend their morning cleaning up the place and do walking meditation in this beautiful garden..

 And to have a ven to bring us around means that we get some kind of special privilege! Ven brought us around FGS and into the forbidden areas (the Buddhist colleges, the calligraphy rooms, the meditation room, the relic room..)

 Look at this! This is written by one of the vens there. Calligraphy writing is practised as a form of meditation in FGS - to train mindfulness. Looks like the characters are printed, right??

   We arrived in FGS one day after Vesak Day.. So I wasn’t able to join their V-Day service.. Nonetheless, Ven brought us to the main shine where we were able to bathe Baby Prince Siddhartha. For Buddhists, bathing the Baby Prince is a very significant event because it symbolises purification of our thoughts, speech and action. =)

  A front view of the main shrine aka the Hall of Great Strength. The walkway in the middle represents The Middle Way emphasised by Buddhists. The Middle Way is a very simple teaching on leading a life/taking on a spiritual practice that does not go to any of the two extremes - over-indulgence or extreme suffering. Bu duo bu shao gang gang hao!

 An image of Guan Yin, the embodiment of compassion..

Long tour around FGS (Liren says it’s a tour with a million other detours..! haha) Grateful for teachings and experience. It felt like renewed faith. =)

 We went to Love River that night. Well, Lonely Planet and forums recommend this place as the must-go. Personally, I didn’t find it extremely beautiful. It didnt feel romantic too. If I were to compare it with Clarke Quay, Love River is really erm….. well.. Displaying only one picture of the place tells it all..

Oh, and along the way to the Love River, we saw this! For those of you who thinks that Taiwan serials are too drama-mama, then you gotta think twice! Ren made us breakfast in the morning! Sho sweet!!

 Day three in Kao Hsiung was makan another spiritual tour day. We went to HRC. =) This 150-year-old cathedral is a blend of Greek and Gothic architecture.

 Beautiful.. Alex also told us about the life of Jesus, explaining the cruxification process, the pains and the sacrifice.

 A nun praying.. 

Oh, and we went to the British Consulate to catch the sunset. It is supposed to have a very good view for sunset.. but that evening was cloudy, the sunset wasn’t exactly captivating. Nonetheless, the evening was well spent. Breezy, relaxing..

 We decided to ‘leave our mark’ there before leaving.. And how could I not draw my ‘i can’t believe it!’ symbol there? The matchstick girl looks like she’s holding on to a gun, but no, that was the ‘palm in the air’ gesture. Geez.

That’s all for Kao Hsiung.. Off to Tai Chung!